A POMERANIAN PASSOVER

Alright, all you (Jewish) humans out there. If you think that it is actually funny to toss little pieces of matzah to your pet pooch, allow me to enlighten you.

Whatever matzah does to human stomachs is an absolute stroll through Central Park compared to the havoc it wreaks on our tender little tummies.

Unless, of course, you are trying to reverse a case of doggy diarrhea, please, please, please keep the edible cardboard on the table and toss us the leftover shankbone from the Seder Plate or some tasty pieces of Kosher for Passover cheese instead.

Thank you.

So, here I am, up at the crack of dawn on the last day of chol hamoed, the middle days of Passover when Jewish humans get to congregate en masse in places like the Bronx Zoo, the Central Park Zoo, The American Museum of Natural History, the circus (if it is in town) or movie theatres. If you haven't seen Hasidic people in a while, you should definitely also check out Astroland or the New York Aquarium as well.

I heard some rumblings from Main Master and Mistress that I am being shipped out to BOMM (Brother of Main Master) and WOBOMM (Wife of Brother of Main Master) for the last days of the holiday because my Human Family is going to Great Neck, home of mah gurl Natalie (check the post I Love Natalie!), a town that makes Main Mistress feel like a sociologist every time she visits.

This is an interesting development because WOBOMM has a Pomette that she left in Israel. I understand that the Pom's name is Mishmish (it means Apricot in Hebrew) and she is a tasty little number indeed. Maybe if I make a good impression, WOBOMM will give me Mishmish's phone number!

And speaking of other dogs....I understand that BOJM (Boyfriend of Junior Mistress) took umbrage that the suggestion that his dog, Coco (whose name I mispelled in a previous post as Cocoa...which of course makes more sense since: a: the dog is male and every Coco I ever heard of is female, and, b: the dog is brown, just like Cocoa) might be gay.

Well, Mr. BOJM, just to clarify matters, I do not consider it an insult to be gay. I, myself, had some questions about my sexual orientation when I was a young Pom and do not judge my fellow dogs by such superficial criteria. In fact, I support the right of ALL dogs to go to Rabbinical School and am on the record as saying so.

Check with my Main Mistress, who is my publicist.

Hey, BOJM! If ya don't want people to think that Coco is a girly-dog, give him a name like Spike, or Stud or Butch, f'crisakes!

And speaking of crisakes...Happy Easter to all my fellow canines living with Christian Human Families!

Yours in constipation,

Alfie the Pomeranian